Happy (belated) St. Patrick's Day!

As many of us will be celebrating St. Patrick chasing the warmth out of Ireland, I thought you could use some toasts to liven up your festivities.

May those who love us, love us
And those who don't love us,
May God turn their hearts
And if he can't turn their hearts,
May he make anvils fall from the sky,
to land on their heads with hilarious pranging sounds.

—-

May the leprechauns be near you,
To spread luck along your way.
And may all of the medications

Take the awful hallucinations of tiny screeching people away.

—

Ireland: It's the one place on earth
That Heaven has kissed
With melody, mirth
And meadow and mist
And decades of religious-based warfare

—

On this day St. Patrick,
Surrounded by friends and more
Take that guy wearing a "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" pin
And throw him the out the back door.

—

Down at the pub,
Reveling all night
Pray they don't run dry of Guinness
And substitute Bud Light

—-

Bless Bono's round, shiny glasses,
for they are round, and they are shiny,
and he is Irish.

—-

May all your sorrows be like a Shamrock Shake,
available for a limited time only.
Also, may they be a minty green in color,
putrid to the taste, and contain sodium benzoate as a preservative.