One of "those" mornings

I wake up Monday to a sheet of ice covering my Jeep. Not just that, "Wow, that looks neat" kind of ice. That, "Shit. I'm going to be late to work" kind of ice.

6:00 I pry my way into the driver's side door, start her up, and head inside to finish getting ready for work.

6:10 Absolutely no progress has been made on the ice. I start hunting for my scraper.

6:15 Hands cold enough to flash freeze nitrgoen now, I give up looking for my scraper and head back in.

6:20 A small sliver of glass is now visible at the very bottom

6:30 Screw it. I slouch WAY down in my seat and take off.

Now, anyone seeing me drive, if they could actually see me, would have assumed I'm a 96 year old, blue-hair driving on ice. At the top of my driveway I have to shift into 4x4 just to get out. But wait...now the parade starts. Seems everyone has chosen to drive down my usually deserted road this morning.

Did I mention I can't see out either side window? Ya. I can see the glare of headlights coming but have absolutely no clue how far away they are. One lucky guess later and I'm now on public roads.

Due to the low temp, no more ice melts all the way to work. My back is still in the shape of a question mark. I pull into my regular spot and, seeing the ice, gently apply my brake and slide right through my spot, an additional few feet, and into the curb...which promptly stops my slide. I throw it in reverse, and being a rear wheel drive vehicle, proceed to spin out for a bit until I remember....4x4!

Safely parked, I step out, forget there's ice under me, and fall flat on my ass.

That's all before I get into my classroom and see that damn red "Some parent is bitching again on voicemail" light flashing.