The case of the missing hotdogs

As I mentioned in an earlier post (A rose by any other name) I used to work at a summer camp. Below is a stroy from my time as the Outdoor Education Director at Jameson Camp (read the above post for some details about the camp).

Each summer, one of our ten-day sessions was always "F.U.N. Camp" Fitness, Understanding, and Nurtition. That's right: Fat Camp.

My first summer we used a Deal-A-Meal type system until we found out kids were getting beat up for their food tickets. (Folks, I really can't make this kind of stuff up.) So we switched to a different system where the counselors would just monitor what everyone ate and help them choose appropriate portions. Fine. Great.

One day, I'm sitting at a group's table because their counselor has the day off. They're busy eating and another counselor comes up behind me and tells me a 20 second story. 20 seconds. Not enven half a minute. I look back at my table and two hotdogs (bunless) are now missing. They were in the bowl before, 20 seconds later...gone. Vanished.

Me: Where are the two hotdogs?

Them: *shurg*

Me: Last chance before you're confined to your beds during rest hour.

Them: *shrug*

(Note: NEVER threaten fat kids with inactivity if they don't comply with your request. It ain't gonna work.)

So we troop off to the boys dorm for rest hour. The group I'm watching heads to their beds. Being the middle of summer, the dorm was kinda warm, so most of the boys would take their shirts off when they laid down. D'adrian starts to take his shirt off.

A quick description of "Big D": This is a massively large, 5'2" 10-year old kid. Easily 200+. Rolls upon rolls upon rolls. The only way he'd get out of bed in the morning was if a radio was on so he could dance as he dressed. I'll give you a minute to picture that.

D'adrian starts to take his shirt off. It gets caught on one of his rolls, and out fall the hotdogs. Yes, dear Reader, he had hidden the hotdogs not just up his shirt (because that would be silly), but under one of his fat rolls.

Me: D, were you seriously gonna eat those dogs that you stuffed under your sweaty roll?

D (HUGE smile): Uh-huh!! They's good that way!